I have this old gamecube lying around, and all the games i had for it ran away in some sort of frenzy after i told them there is a fire in the kitchen. get out. They all ran away and never came back. I really wanted to play Super Mario 64 again. So you know what i did? Guess.. go ahead
I got in my car, and drove to a local Dodgy 2nd hand (possibly 3rd hand) Game store. I walked inside, The man standing behind the counter gave me an odd smile. His name was smiley joe. I waved to him and went to the gamecube section they still had, right next to the PS4 games. I found super mario 64, but on the title was "Supr Mario 64.5." I thought AWSUM A FACKIN NEW EDITION FOR SUPER MARIO 64 THAT IS TOTES LEGIT! i gave it to the guy behind da counter and he still smiled at me as he waved to me out the door. I turned around and said "Hey, you know call of duty ghosts? Its shit" And then i walked out. Smiling joes face became a long frown and he got really mad. I didnt see this becuz i was already driving to my house.
WHEN I GOT TO MY HOUSE I GOT MY FUCKING GAMECUBE AND THREW IT ON THE FLOOR NEAR MY GODDAMN TV AND PLUGGED THE LITTLE SHIT IN! after i did that i put the game into the disc reader thingamabobber. and it downaloded. the title of the game came on screen, which is od because the download was at 0.1%. I looked at the title, it had mario with no eyes, or a mouth... or hair. I nearly shat my drawers. The title said "Super Mario 64.5.exe.bat.wav.mp3456" After i saw that i shat myself so hard i died.
So after the download was done i pressed start. All of the sudden, 20 kefka laughs came out of the speakers. I didnt care tho because Kefka ws my favoritest character. It then gave me a character select screen the characters were MAREEO, LEWEEGEE, PWINCESS PEECH, and BOW SIRR. I naturally chose mario. a message came on screen saying "DOWNLOAD OUR DLC TODAY FOR ONLY 6.99 FOR MARIO!" so i clicked cancel and went to luigi "CHARACTER LOCKED" the message box said. I picked peach. the message said "Died of an STD" I looked at that message for a second and said to myself... I knew it...
So the only option was bowser. I clicked on him, and then my speakers blew up for whatever reason. It put me into the game as bowser, but something was off, everything was hyper-realistic.
I honestly didnt care for this and proceeded on. I noticed Bowser was gigasized and he was stomping little marios, luigis and princess peaches.
HEY WAIT A SECOND i thought, PRINCESS PEACHES MESSAGE BOX LIED TO ME! SHE DIDNT DIE OF AN STD, SHE DIED FROM BOWSERS FOOT! Feeling broken hearted and cheated, I destroyed my gamecube with the disc inside. I was crying for a good 2 minutes and 10 seconds. when i stopped i heard my doorbell and i answered it. It was Smiling joe with a shotgun pointed to my. He uttered one sentence to me before he pulled the trigger "CALL OF DUTY GHOSTS... DOES... NOT... SUCK!' he pulled the trigger and blew my hyper-realistic brains out.
I learned my lesson... Never say a game sucks... ever!